There’s a thousand different paths on the adoption and foster care journey. We have friends who have adopted internationally, those who are kinship parents and those who have adopted domestically in private arrangements. The heroes (the children) need parents to meet them on each and every path. Foster care was the right choice for our family.
I wanted children
I don’t know why we have struggled with infertility for nearly 15 years. God knows. It would be an amazing life just the two of us. But like many, we wanted children.
This is bold to write: In many Christian circles, fostering or adopting for the mere fact that you want children in your home can be seen as unholy or worse.
Years ago, an elder in a church we attended told me point blank: If God thought you were fit to be a parent, he would have allowed you to have children biologically. That’s a sad, and wrong, sentiment that far too many have heard. We have love in our hearts and space in our home and it’s simply ok to want to fill both with children.
God called me to it
The desire that we had was also paired with a calling. Once upon a time, if you had asked me what a foster parent looked like I would have told you it was somebody like Carol Burnett’s character in Annie. It wasn’t until our first foster care experience in the late 2000s that we met foster parents that were like us. Meeting a family that was “normal” busted the stereotypes in my mind and eventually turned my heart toward jumping in myself. (Of course, Chrissy knew way before me, but I’ve been called stubborn.)
I believe all things happen by a divine hand. Maybe I’ll detail our exact path to foster care in a later post, but it was an exacting set of circumstances and timing that led us to that first meeting with a foster family. I’m convinced that it was crafted in such a way that another choice would have been disobedience.
Perhaps you have a different faith or core beliefs. There is still something that propels you to one path or the other. In the end, it doesn’t matter which one. There are children who need you. We take great comfort knowing that we’re making an impact right here in our own community.
Desire and calling worked hand in hand to guide us down this path.
The practicalities made sense
After those two essential elements, practical considerations confirmed the right decision. Foster care is an unfortunate result of a parent’s inability to care for a child. It’s a very practical way to stand in the gap as parents work toward reunification (the ultimate goal of foster care) or to be the gateway to a permanency in your own home.
I’m so thankful for those that adopt overseas. From navigating visa requirements to intensive travel and in-country stays, international adoption requires a level of commitment we are are unable to attain. It’s not an option for families like us, that must balance other local responsibilities.
When the opportunity to adopt from foster care presents itself, there is a world of support that comes with taking that particular plunge. Financial support, insurance and assistance obtaining services were all important considerations for us.
In the end, it’s the decision to care for another child that is important, no matter the path. Why did you decide to enter foster care? Adoption? Tell me in the comments!